The Fuckits

What in the Holy Heckfire is This?

The Fuckits do whatever they can to keep me from being an oblivious, productive little drone. I record our conversations because other people seem to find my pain amusing.

The Copyright Blah Blah

This site and its contents, unless otherwise noted, are copyright © 2004 by Shimmy Weiler.

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What Else Have the Fuckits Said Lately?

• "'Round and 'round the logic goes, where it stops no one knows."
• "Sometimes, Mr. Freud, a flashlight is just a flashlight."
• "Yeah, well, Die Wiener Dogg going to bust a Cappen in your Assenwestsideyoyo. Or something. Yo."
• "Foul smelling and argumentative? Wait until the smellybeotch@ list hears about this."
• "That outfit you're wearing is darling. The only accessory you're missing is my foot in your ass."

Yes, There's Enough Drivel For An Archive.

• April 25, 2004 - May 01, 2004
• April 18, 2004 - April 24, 2004
• April 11, 2004 - April 17, 2004
• April 04, 2004 - April 10, 2004
• March 28, 2004 - April 03, 2004
• March 21, 2004 - March 27, 2004
• March 14, 2004 - March 20, 2004
• March 07, 2004 - March 13, 2004
• February 29, 2004 - March 06, 2004
• February 22, 2004 - February 28, 2004
• February 15, 2004 - February 21, 2004
• February 08, 2004 - February 14, 2004
• February 01, 2004 - February 07, 2004
• January 25, 2004 - January 31, 2004
• January 18, 2004 - January 24, 2004
• January 11, 2004 - January 17, 2004

The Fuckits Make Me Visit These Web Sites. Often.

• The Morning News
• McSweeney's
• Married to the Sea

Fuckits: "Aw, come on, why not?"

Shimmy: "Because the idea of 'Green Chile Cheese French Fry Soup' turns my stomach."

Fuckits: "Dude, I need you to invent the recipe for me. It might turn out to be da' bomb, you never know."

Shimmy: "Never."

Fuckits: "What the hell is your problem? When you break it down logically, I fail to see what it is that's causing you the problem."

Shimmy: "It just sounds vile."

Fuckits: "You dig potato soup, right?"

Shimmy: "Yes, potato soup is damn fine eatin'."

Fuckits: "And you've had soups that contain either cheese or green chilies, and on occasion both?"

Shimmy: "Yeah."

Fuckits: "And there are few things finer in this world than the Green Chile Cheese Fries at the local diner, right?"

Shimmy: "Agreed."

Fuckits: "So what's the 300 yard freestyle freak out over Green Chile Cheese French Fry Soup?"

Shimmy: "I refuse to let that enter my reality. French fries do not belong in soup."

Fuckits: "Don't mistake yourself, Ms. Wuss in Boots, I'll break your resolve yet."

Shimmy: "Just try."

Fuckits: "So, how are you enjoying that iPod you swore you'd never buy?"

Shimmy: "Piss off."

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